|
|
Post by True Patriot on Dec 30, 2008 3:18:04 GMT -5
Insert a word or words to make
the phrase into a pun. 1. I wondered why the ? was getting bigger. Then it hit me. |
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Dec 30, 2008 3:45:17 GMT -5
1. I wondered why the ? was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. I couldn't quite remember how to ?, but eventually it came back to me.
3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's ? now.
4. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes ?.
5. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said '?'.ANSWERS 1. I wondered why the BASEBALL was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. I couldn't quite remember how to THROW A BOOMERANG, but eventually it came back to me.
3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's ALRIGHT now.
4. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes BENDS.
5. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'STAY OFF THE GRASS'.
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Jan 31, 2009 0:27:56 GMT -5
6. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was ?.
7. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are ?.
8. A small boy swallowed ? and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.
9. Show me a ? falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor..
10. There was once a ? teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
6. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was RESISTING A REST.
7. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are LOOKING INTO IT.
8. A small boy swallowed SOME COINS and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.
9. Show me a PIANO falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor..
10. There was once a CROSS-EYED teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
|
|
|
|
Post by Occupant on Mar 22, 2009 19:44:04 GMT -5
I love these!!! 
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Mar 25, 2009 14:50:05 GMT -5
11. When ? joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
12. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it did let out a little ?.
13. It's not that the man did not know how to ? , he just didn't have the balls to do it.
(Get your minds our of the gutter!)
14. Time flies like an arrow. But, ? flies like a banana.
15. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is ?.
11. When WILLIAM joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
12. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it did let out a little WHINE.
13. It's not that the man did not know how to JUGGLE , he just didn't have the balls to do it.
(Not what you thought?)
14. Time flies like an arrow. But, FRUIT flies like a banana.
15. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is TWO-TIRED.
|
|
|
|
Post by Occupant on Mar 25, 2009 21:23:53 GMT -5
These are fun!!!
I got them all right except I said the man liked to play pool instead of *****, and I said the bike was*****.
;)
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Mar 27, 2009 20:08:27 GMT -5
16. To write with a broken pencil is ?.
17. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little ? in his work.
18. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his ? .
19. When a clock is ? it goes back four seconds.
20. If you don't pay your ? you get repossessed.
16. To write with a broken pencil is POINTLESS.
17. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little BEHIND in his work.
18. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his SENTENCE .
19. When a clock is HUNGRY it goes back four seconds.
20. If you don't pay your EXORCIST you get repossessed.
|
|
|
|
Post by Occupant on Mar 27, 2009 21:13:27 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Mar 27, 2009 21:18:21 GMT -5
I'm glad you like them.
I'll get more if you keep making such great posts.
Consider it a bribe.
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Mar 30, 2009 22:36:08 GMT -5
THESE ARE RATHER EASY BUT FUN JUST THE SAME.
21. Atheism is a non-? organization.
22. Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet ? and their noses ?.
23. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was ? .
24. Never lie to an ?. They can see right through you.
25. What's the definition of a ? ? (It's a dead giveaway).
21. Atheism is a non-PROPHET organization.
22. Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet SMELL and their noses RUN.
23. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was A-SALTED .
24. Never lie to an X-RAY TECHNICIAN. They can see right through you.
25. What's the definition of a WILL ? (It's a dead giveaway).
|
|
|
|
Post by Occupant on Mar 31, 2009 0:50:14 GMT -5
I had to peek at the last one ~ should have known!!! LOL
Bravo
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Apr 20, 2009 19:37:18 GMT -5
26. The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - ?.
27. He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were ?.
28. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the ? .
29. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum ?.
30. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up ?.
26. The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner -
THERE WERE STRINGS ATTACHED.
27. He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were SEALED.
28. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the POINT .
29. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum BLOWN-APART.
30. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up IN A TIE.
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Apr 20, 2009 20:08:46 GMT -5
31. A ? in the morning is hard to beat.
32. The ? were given out free of charge.
33. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are ? .
34. The magician got so mad he ?.
35. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a ?.
31. A BOILED EGG in the morning is hard to beat.
32. The DEAD BATTERIES were given out free of charge.
33. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are IN SEINE .
34. The magician got so mad he
PULLED HIS HARE OUT.
35. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a SOFT DRINK.
|
|
|
|
Post by Occupant on Apr 20, 2009 20:33:56 GMT -5
These were a little harder, had to peek at some of the answers. Great punnies!!! |
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Apr 24, 2009 15:07:21 GMT -5
36. Why was the ? sad? Because her dad was in the pen and she didn't know how long the sentence would be!
37. Those who get too big for their britches will be ? in the end.
38. When the ? got married the reception was excellent.
39. Opening a new ? can be quite an undertaking.
40. The careless pyromaniac made an ? of himself.
36. Why was the INK DROP sad?
Because her dad was in the pen and she didn't know how long the sentence would be!
37. Those who get too big for their britches will be EXPOSED in the end.
38. When the T.V. REPAIRMAN got married the reception was excellent.
39. Opening a new FUNERAL HOME can be quite an undertaking.
40. The careless pyromaniac made an ASH of himself.
|
|
|
|
Post by Occupant on Apr 25, 2009 13:26:54 GMT -5
Ooooooh, I was soooo close on all the answers ~ close but no Cohiba! LOL
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Apr 25, 2009 18:20:34 GMT -5
Did Someone Say Cohiba?
|
|
|
|
Post by Occupant on Apr 25, 2009 19:41:44 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Apr 25, 2009 20:07:13 GMT -5
I think Occupant will get all of these right. 41. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir ? .
42. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be ? .
43. Old doctors never die they just lose their ? .
44. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll ?.'
45. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for ?.
41. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir CUMFERENCE .
42. Now matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be STATIONERY.
43. Old doctors never die they just lose their PATIENTS .
44. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll GO ON A HEAD.'
45. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for LITTERING.
|
|
Trish
Professor
Sunshine
Posts: 953
|
Post by Trish on Apr 28, 2009 7:52:27 GMT -5
YOu guys !!
Seriously I am retarded at these !
I can't get a single one...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
I wish I could play along.
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on Apr 29, 2009 21:43:29 GMT -5
Hey Trish, try these. 46. Let's talk about rights and lefts. You were right so I ?.
47. It's better to love a short girl than not a ?.
48. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math ? .
49. To some - marriage is a word ... to others - a ?.
50. A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the ? thing.
46. Let's talk about rights and lefts. You were right so I LEFT.
47. It's better to love a short girl than not a TALL.
48. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math DISRUPTION .
49. To some - marriage is a word ... to others - a SENTENCE.
50. A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the HOLE thing.
|
|
|
|
Post by Occupant on Apr 29, 2009 22:31:43 GMT -5
|
|
Birdie
Lecturer
Pilgrim
Love is Tweet!
Posts: 771
|
Post by Birdie on Apr 29, 2009 22:43:59 GMT -5
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their ?appeal |
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on May 1, 2009 21:20:26 GMT -5
Good Job Pilgrim!!! ;) 51. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd ?.
52. We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to ?.
53. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in ? .
54. The cowboy dismounted on the ? of the moment to ? some trouble, ? at being arrested and ? the sheriff with a ? of a problem.
55. I've been to the dentist several times so I know the ? .
51. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd DYE.
52. We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to PAY ATTENTION.
53. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in TIERS .
54. The cowboy dismounted on the SPUR of the moment to STIRRUP some trouble, BRIDLED at being arrested and SADDLED the sheriff with a BIT of a problem.
55. I've been to the dentist several times so I know the DRILL .
|
|
|
|
Post by True Patriot on May 6, 2009 7:53:08 GMT -5
56. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a ? veteran.
57. If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named ? don't yell out ?!
58. The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ? kids.
59. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a ? .
60. An electrician is a bright spark who knows ? .
56. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a SEASONED veteran.
57. If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named JACK don't yell out HI JACK!
58. The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ATE kids.
59. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE.
60. An electrician is a bright spark who knows WHAT'S WATT .
|
|
