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Post by True Patriot on May 15, 2009 6:47:38 GMT -5
61. A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips.
'Are you the ??' he asks.
'No. I'm the ?,' he replies.
62. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully ?!
63. He had a photographic memory that was never ? .
64. A chicken crossing the road is ? in motion.
65. Stealing someone's coffee is called '?'.
61. A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips.
'Are you the FRIAR?' he asks.
'No. I'm the CHIP MONK,' he replies.
62. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully RECOVERED!
63. He had a photographic memory that was never ? DEVELOPED.
64. A chicken crossing the road is POULTRY in motion.
65. Stealing someone's coffee is called 'MUGGING'.
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Post by Occupant on May 16, 2009 10:08:05 GMT -5
56. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a ? veteran.
57. If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named ? don't yell out ?!
58. The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ? kids.
59. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a ? .
60. An electrician is a bright spark who knows ? .
56. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a SEASONED veteran.
57. If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named JACK don't yell out HI JACK!
58. The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ATE kids.
59. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE.
60. An electrician is a bright spark who knows WHAT'S WATT .
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Post by Occupant on May 16, 2009 10:10:16 GMT -5
61. A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips.
'Are you the ??' he asks.
'No. I'm the ?,' he replies.
62. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully ?!
63. He had a photographic memory that was never ? .
64. A chicken crossing the road is ? in motion.
65. Stealing someone's coffee is called '?'.
61. A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips.
'Are you the FRIAR?' he asks.
'No. I'm the CHIP MONK,' he replies.
62. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully RECOVERED!
63. He had a photographic memory that was never ? DEVELOPED.
64. A chicken crossing the road is POULTRY in motion.
65. Stealing someone's coffee is called 'MUGGING'.
;) |
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Post by True Patriot on May 21, 2009 23:08:15 GMT -5
66. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are ?.
67. For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a ?.
68. Santa's helpers are in effect, subordinate ? .
69. Every ?'s days are numbered.
70. A cardboard belt would be a ? of paper.
66. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are SKETCHY.
67. For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a STAGE.
68. Santa's helpers are in effect, subordinate CLAUSES .
69. Every CALENDAR'S days are numbered.
70. A cardboard belt would be a WAIST of paper.
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Post by Occupant on May 22, 2009 20:04:21 GMT -5
Those were fun!!!
;)
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Post by True Patriot on May 24, 2009 20:17:12 GMT -5
71. Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no ?.
72. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the ?.
73. In the room the curtains were drawn, but the rest of the furniture was ? .
74. She was only a ? but he loved her still.
75. I get my large circumference from too much?.
71. Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no COMMON SCENTS.
72. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the FELL IN THE SINK.
73. In the room the curtains were drawn, but the rest of the furniture was REAL .
74. She was only a WHISKEY MAKER but he loved her still.
75. I get my large circumference from too much PI.
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Post by Occupant on May 24, 2009 20:25:06 GMT -5
Great - the only one I couldn't figure out was the tap dancer.  |
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Post by True Patriot on May 27, 2009 7:37:50 GMT -5
76. It's a fact, ? people sleep longer in bed.
77. You feel stuck with your ? if you can't budge it.
78. I thought I saw an ? on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
79. He said I was average - but he was just being ?.
80. I like European food so I decided to ? over there because I was ?.
After ?'ing the menu I ordered ?.
When I was ?ed I ex?ed to the waiter that, 'The meal was good, but there is ? I could eat another bite'.
76. It's a fact, TALLER people sleep longer in bed.
77. You feel stuck with your DEBT if you can't budge it.
78. I thought I saw an OPTHAMOLOGIST on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
79. He said I was average - but he was just being MEAN.
80. I like European food so I decided to RUSSIA over there because I was HUNGARY.
After CZECH'ing the menu I ordered TURKEY.
When I was FINNISHed I exSPAINed to the waiter that, 'The meal was good, but there is NORWAY I could eat another bite'.
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Post by Occupant on May 27, 2009 20:51:00 GMT -5
That last one reminded me of something the kids used to say...
Hungary got hungry, slipped on Greece and ate Turkey then paid for the meal with a rubber Czech.
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Post by True Patriot on May 30, 2009 21:55:15 GMT -5
81. In a recession, the most secure job is ?.
Business is always picking up.
82. She had a boyfriend with a ?, but broke it off.
NO DIRTY MINDS HERE! 
83. Bakers trade bread recipes on a ? basis.
84. A criminal's best asset is his ?.
85. ? have lots of problems.
81. In a recession, the most secure job is GARBAGE-MAN.
Business is always picking up.
82. She had a boyfriend with a WOODEN LEG, but broke it off.
83. Bakers trade bread recipes on a KNEAD TO KNOW basis.
84. A criminal's best asset is his LIE ABILITY.
85. MATH TEACHERS have lots of problems.
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Post by True Patriot on Jun 5, 2009 22:38:47 GMT -5
86. He was arrested for ?, but they dropped the charges.
87. Those who ? are sure to lose ground.
88. A backwards poet writes ? .
89. In democracy its your vote that ?.
In feudalism its your ? that votes.
90. I saw a ? movie last night, it was the best d**n movie I've ever seen.
86. He was arrested for THROWING BOMBS FROM A BOAT, but they dropped the charges.
87. Those who THROW DIRT are sure to lose ground.
88. A backwards poet writes INVERSE .
89. In democracy its your vote that COUNTS.
In feudalism its your COUNT that votes.
90. I saw a BEAVER movie last night, it was the best d**n movie I've ever seen.
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Post by True Patriot on Jun 10, 2009 21:16:46 GMT -5
91. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? ?.
92. Five Thousand hares have escaped from the zoo. The police are ? the area.
93. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was ? .
94. They tried to save him with an I.V. but it was all ?.
95. I dropped out of my communism class because of lousy?.
91. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A TIRE.
92. 5000 hares have escaped from the zoo. The police are COMBING the area.
93. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was IN TENTS .
94. They tried to save him with an I.V. but it was all IN VEIN.
95. I dropped out of my communism class because of lousyMARX.
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Post by Occupant on Jun 10, 2009 21:25:32 GMT -5
Thanks for the giggles! |
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Post by True Patriot on Jun 10, 2009 21:30:02 GMT -5
You are welcome!
I'm glad they make you happy!
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Post by True Patriot on Jun 17, 2009 21:24:30 GMT -5
96. What do you call cheese that is not yours? ?.
97. To many girls the word 'marriage' has a nice ? to it.
98. Russia was slow to recover after WW2 because it kept ? .
99. Be true to your teeth, or they will be ? to you.
100. When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the ?.
96. What do you call cheese that is not yours? NACHO CHEESE.
97. To many girls the word 'marriage' has a nice RING to it.
98. Russia was slow to recover after WW2 because it kept STALIN .
99. Be true to your teeth, or they will be FALSE to you.
100. When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the COLD SHOULDER.
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Post by Occupant on Jun 17, 2009 21:45:21 GMT -5
;)
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Post by True Patriot on Aug 5, 2010 7:26:41 GMT -5
101. I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the ?.
102. I used to have a fear of ?, but I got over it.
103. I was going to buy a book on ? , but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
104. Have you heard about that online origami store? It ?.
105. Organ donors put their ?into it.
101. I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the TIME.
102. I used to have a fear of HURDLES but I got over it.
103. I was going to buy a book on PHOBIAS , but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
104. Have you heard about that online origami store? It FOLDED.
105. Organ donors put their HEART into it.
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Post by Occupant on Aug 7, 2010 23:04:22 GMT -5
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Post by True Patriot on Apr 20, 2019 14:07:10 GMT -5
106. After a large explosion at a cheese factory there was nothing left but ?.
107. The celebrity got really hot when he learned that ?.
108. The Mathematician poured ? in a square glass, and got beer.
109. Two people were seen fighting over a calendar, they both got ?.
110. Raw milk in a vat was featured as part of a modern art exhibit.
The critics said it was ?.
106. After a large explosion at a cheese factory there was nothing left but DE BRIE.
107. The celebrity got really hot when he learned that ALL THE FANS HAD LEFT.
108. The Mathematician poured ROOT BEER in a square glass, and got beer.
109. Two people were seen fighting over a calendar, they both got SIX MONTHS.
110. Raw milk in a vat was featured as part of a modern art exhibit.
The critics said it was UNCULTURED.
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Post by True Patriot on Apr 20, 2019 21:20:53 GMT -5
111. A hipster burned his mouth the other day.
He drank his coffee before it was ?.
112. People who overuse ? should get two consecutive sentences.
113. The Mathematician was getting cold so he sat in the corner because it's always ? there.
114. People who ask the difference between ignorance and apathy ?.
115. A pirate asked a farmer the cost of his corn.
The farmer said, "?."
111. A hipster burned his mouth the other day.
He drank his coffee before it was COOL.
112. People who overuse SEMICOLONS should get two consecutive sentences.
113. The Mathematician was getting cold so he sat in the corner because it's always NINETY DEGREES there.
114. People who ask the difference between ignorance and apathy DON'T KNOW AND DON'T CARE.
115. A pirate asked a farmer the cost of his corn.
The farmer said, "BUCCANEER."
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